So I have this shelf on Goodreads that is called ‘rather chew my eyeballs than read‘… CATCHY RIGHT?!?!?!?
It’s obviously a very tongue in cheek…. or eyeball in teeth… shelf title but I thought for the absolute LOLs I would list a few of the books that are currently sitting pretty on that shelf.
(BTW Some other less ridiculous people would probably call this post ‘books I am not interested in reading’ but I live for the drama!!!!!!!!!!!)
And be prepared guys… There will be much loved favourites listed. And if you love these books then great for you, but life would be boring if we all had the same opinions right?
So let’s start this off with a bang shall we!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone by J.K. Rowling
Ah I can hear the pitchforks being prepared to be hurled my way…..
I have absolutely zero desire to ever read any of the Harry Potter books nor watch the Harry Potter films. I just don’t get the hype you guys!
I’ve never been a fan of wizardry in books really. Any sort of story featuring a magic system just doesn’t interest me. I am much more inclined to read a book that falls into the magical realism genre rather that anything with traditional magic.
So when everyone is talking about which Hogwarts House they are desperate to be sorted into I’m here just not giving any bothers… I did do the hat sorting thing a few years ago though. We were discussing it in my book group and I was like oh I’ll do mine for the lols and apparently I am a puffy or something…effort of actually looking up the proper name. I’m sure y’all will know.
So yeah… I just have absolutely no desire to read the books. Plus with every new tweet that JK Rowling sends out these days it is going to be hard for anyone to ever change my mind lol!! Sometimes people need to learn when to stop adding to the narrative!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I know all the spoilers at this stage too… it is just impossible to actually avoid them when you’ve been part of the online book community for as long as I have (since 2010 on Goodreads).
City of Bones (The Mortal Instruments #1) by Cassandra Clare
I just do not get the hype surrounding the whole Mortal Instruments series and its seemingly never ending spinoffs. I think a lot of my reluctance to read this series stems from the fact that these books never seem to end! I just do not have that sort of commitment to something.
I’ve read a few reviews of these books over the years, flicked through them in bookshops and the libraries and just nothing grabs my attention. Perhaps if I had stumbled across book one back when it was originally released my feelings would be different… but when I read the blurbs of The Mortal Instruments series in particular they feel very dated???
I think a comparison I could make…that will probably have Cassie Clare fans baying for my blood… is that the books strike me as a sort of Twilight type series. As you all probably know by now your girl here is a big Twilight fan… cheesy, ridiculous, dodgy plot lines…yup I am here for it all. And when I read Twilight it was well over a decade ago now and I had read little to no other YA series at that time… so I gobbled up those books. But I know if I were reading Twilight for the first time now I would be like lol no…
And that is kinda how I feel about The Mortal Instruments series. That they were of a time and I am too late to the party. And maybe all these new spin off series are great… but without that desire to pick up the originals I am just never going to be interested in reading any of them!
Aurora Rising (Aurora Cycle #1) by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff
Guys if you’ve put away those pitchforks prepare to get them back out again because I got a bomb to drop….
I HATED THE ILLUMINAE FILES WITH A PASSION OF A THOUSAND FIERY SUNS!!!!!!!
And I utterly refuse to read another book written by either of these authors.
So I guess you’re all going to want to know why I hated The Illuminae Files… Because I felt cheated. I felt utterly cheated as a reader. I actually really enjoyed the first book Illuminae. I was so on board with it all. I loved Aidan with all my heart. It was fun, it felt different. I was 100% on board with everything.
And then I read Gemina.
And I felt cheated.
Because Gemina was basically the same plot as Illuminae. It had different characters, Hanna in place of Kady etc. But they may as well have been the same person. The plot devices used were exactly the same just with slightly different characters and a *bad guy*. The twists in the plot… the same!!! And I was enraged. Gemina to me felt like a plagiarised version of Illuminae…. Gemina technically was more tightly written and executed better but why wouldn’t it… the authors had already written a draft copy and called it Illuminae Book One!!!!!!!!!!!!
And for some daft reason I spent more of my own money on book three Obsidio… guess I just wanted to round out the series and again similar plot devices were used… I can’t be more explicit than that due to spoilers but if you’ve read book one then there is nothing that will surprise you about books two and three.
And even the interesting format and layout of Illuminae grew very stale by the time Obsidio came around. There was a lot more exposition in it and less ingenuity of narrative technique…. I have semi-reviews written for this series on Goodreads and one day soon I will sit down and type out a long review for my blog focusing on why this whole series is insulting to the reader’s intelligence.
So unsurprisingly after that Illuminae debacle I will not be reading The Aurora Cycle books.
So those are just three of the series that are on my ‘will never read’ aka ‘would rather chew my eyeballs than read’ bookshelf on Goodreads. Any of these on your never want to read radar??? Let’s chat in the comments below!
I’ll hopefully do another one of these posts soon and drop a few more truth bombs about books I have no interest in reading!